Day 4

I was awake day four.

I got moved out of the ICU ward into my own room and I attempted for the very first time to eat.

It didn't go too well. I was trying to eat custard. We tried it through a straw which I had to position in the side of my cheek. It was really hard because I had to suck REALLY hard, and hardly got anything through the straw. So I got sick of that pretty soon.

Then my physiotherapist came and took me for a 'walk' she asked Mum to take me for little walks around the hospital.

Then I got to have my very first shower since I arrived! I swear to God, it was SO nice! Even though the water wouldn't get above luke-warm, which wasn't hot enough, it was still good to get all of that dry blood off of my face.

Dad came to see me again today.

It was funny, I just kept falling asleep and then waking up to little snippits of conversation.

Dad did buy me a new My Chemical Romance CD... which was AWESOME!

But I wasn't that much of a happy chappie...

I was really down in the dumps and just tired the whole day. I pretty much slept most of this day. My Oma and Grandad came to see me. I was awake when they came, but only just so I just went back to sleep.

I did say hello to them when I woke up... They got me a bear, I called him Zane because he was blue and had a beanie. He looked like a snowboarder so I thought he needed a kool name.

Well then I slept.

Finally it was night-time... and this is the time my body chose that it DIDN'T want to sleep.

I'd fall asleep, and then wake up after I'd had some really strange dream. I had like half a dozen different dreams per night.

I swear they were REALLY weird...

I had dreams about Harry Potter, that movie The Lion King, different letters of the alphabet, EVERYTHING you can imagine.

I woke up once with that song 'The Gambler' in my head. You know: "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run." But that's it... that's all I know of that song... so it was those two lines OVER AND OVER AND OVER like a MILLION times!

I kept waking up gagging, but because I wasn't eating anything, I couldn't throw anything up.

Another thing I had in my head was the alphabet. Like as in: A is for Apple. B is for Ball. So I went through the alphabet, but I couldn't get past T. I kept thinking T is for Tube, which reminded me of the tube I had in my nose (oxygen tube) and I couldn't get past T. No matter how hard I tried, I kept getting reminded of the oxygen tube. I'd get to S. but it only reminded me of: S is for Suction. Then it went to Suction Tube, then back to Tube.

So I'd start again. Sometimes I only got to D. D is for Drip... The drip in my arm... It's a tube.

It was AGONISING!!